Move over boys, hunt now for suitable sperm

First they tried to find a suitable boy for their daughter. Then they busied themselves finding a suitable sperm donor. "My parents' earlier search didn't yield results but this one is going to give us a precious gift," says Richa Aneja, who's single and looking forward to a surrogate baby soon.      Having a baby through IVF (in-vitro fertilization) or a surrogate mother was once fraught with stigma. Even married couples chose to hide the fact from their families and friends. Now, the tide is changing, say infertility experts. Parents, and even in-laws, are supporting—and often paying for—assisted reproduction techniques for their children. Women in mid-30s freezing their eggs Aneja, 34, is unmarried but that didn't stop her parents and brother from being willing partners on her journey to becoming a parent. "When I told my family that I wanted to be a mother with the help of IVF they gave me their blessings and promised full support," says Aneja who runs a software business in west Delhi. At present, her surrogate is pregnant and the family is busy discussing possible themes for a nursery at her home and names for the much-awaited baby.      While there are no figures to quantify this trend, doctors confirm that numbers are growing. Dr Firuza Parikh, a well-known infertility expert consulted by Kiran Rao and Aamir Khan, met three single women who wanted to freeze their eggs last week, all of whom were accompanied by their mothers. "They are all in their mid-30s but still haven't found the right man to settle down with," says Dr Parikh and adds that she is also seeing more and more cases of in-laws extending financial help to young couples undergoing IVF.      One cycle of IVF in India usually costs between Rs 1.5 lakh and Rs 4.5 lakh. The IVFsurrogacy package — including the costs for hormonal medicines for egg retrieval, egg placement, hospital delivery of the baby, legal charges, etc — costs close to Rs 15 lakh. The procedure of retrieving and freezing eggs costs around Rs 1.5 lakh to Rs 2 lakh and the annual fee for storage varies from Rs 30,000 to Rs 50,000.      Dr Rita Bakshi, who runs the Delhi-based International Fertility Centre, says that with blossoming of women's careers she is seeing a sea change in attitudes towards ART (assisted reproduction technology). "Till a few years ago women themselves shied from IVF. Now we get parents who bring their daughters to us for the procedure," she says, citing the example of a 39-year-old unmarried woman who came to her clinic with her parents, who were footing the bill. She wanted a baby through surrogacy.      "Parents want to see their children happy," explains Dr Aniruddh Malpani, a Mumbai-based infertility doctor. "Children have a mind of their own. So parents reconcile and bow to their child's wishes." He cites the example of a client who is a scientist in the US. She is single by choice and her mother was initially opposed to the idea of "nontraditional baby-making". "But eventually she relented," says Dr Malpani. The scientist got pregnant thrice but miscarried. "At that point her mother advised her to go for surrogacy," says Dr Malpani. Now, her surrogate is 14 weeks pregnant. This scientist meticulously, and anonymously, blogs about her IVF and surrogacy experience at www.aboutplanb.blogspot.in, which has more than three lakh page views.      (Some names have been changed on request)